There comes a certain point in time where I have to sit back and ask myself if life can really be this rewarding. Looking back at only one year ago, all I can do is shake my head at what I wasn't expecting. Losing my grandma was the hardest thing that I've ever had to go through, and let me tell you, I've dealt with a lot of difficult things. But soon after her death, I started college, not knowing where I would end up. Within the course of a year, I've been published, made a small family up at college, made friends with a few of my professors, had the English teachers spot potential in me from the very first papers I've turned in to them, worked on the sets for two play productions, tech'd one show doing lights, gotten my artwork on the cover of my creative writing class booklet, and now I'm getting my feet even wetter in the theatre area by becoming an assistant stage manager in training for A Little Night Music. Of course, there has been the recent downside with Pogo dying, but I'm holding up pretty well. I actually bought a new guinea pig named Meeko, and from the looks of it, he's only a few months old. He has just realized recently that he can make noise and enjoys squeaking just for the sake of squeaking. It's actually quite cute (: His nails are currently lethal weapons and he broke the skin on the palm of my hand from kicking his legs. But other than that, he's pretty harmless. I can't wait to give his nails a trim!!
Anyway, I'm just sitting here tonight thinking about how truly lucky I am to finally be living my life. There are so many things that I did not envision happening to me when I was attending the summer class for my community college, and I honestly believe that God has been with me every step of the way. Not only that, but I've had the most supportive family and friends in the world. They've dealt with me through all of the hardships, tears, and anger that I've gone through, and to see that they're still standing by my side is a pretty remarkable thing. When I had my Christmas break in December, I fell into my depression spell again, and that was a huge test of loyalty to a lot of my friends. Anyone who didn't want to deal with it stopped coming around, and the people who I knew could deal with it weren't able to be around. It was a dark time, as was the summer when my grandma passed, and although some of my friends ducked out without leaving on a good note or without understanding, there were still a lot of people who stepped up to the plate and helped me out. To those people, I can't thank you enough for being on this planet. You've truly seen me at my worst and still love me for the weird, moody, crazy mess that I am.
Not only that, but my teachers have been a huge inspiration. It all started when I got into Elder's creative writing class up at my high school junior year. I was still in my awkward, growing up phase, and I was the quiet, uncomfortable girl who sat by herself because she was afraid everyone else would flock in and attack her. But after one semester in that classroom, I realized how talkative and animated I had become. I was getting friendly punches and taps on the arm in the hallways while walking to each class, and people found me very approachable and easy to talk to no matter what class I was in. I was finally growing comfortable in my own skin, and because of Elder and her constant smile and eagerness to help me, my writing and my confidence became rock solid. I ended up taking her independent study for creative writing my senior year, and by the time I got into college, I was already prepped and ready to go for my English classes. Another highly important teacher that helped me out with my writing in high school was Dixon. So many people talked about how horrible she was, but I just couldn't see it. She was funny and had great energy. I loved being in her class, and the very first paper that I turned into her was so believable that she thought what I had written about actually happened to me. She returned to school the next day worried sick that I was being bullied, and after I explained to her that I was a creative writer, she understood and told me that my paper was mistake free. I walked away with the only Advanced Composition Writing Award that semester for senior awards night which she designed just for me. It was a HUGE honor and a great way to end high school!! My English teachers up at college have all been very supportive since then, and I couldn't ask for anything more.
I haven't written anything for awhile. I've been going through a sort of dry spell, which is normal considering how much I've been writing the past two semesters. But I did want to write another blog post because I don't want to let a writing mood pass me by. I still worry about the future and ask myself when I'll be ready to write and complete a full book, but I know that with time will come more opportunities to get such tasks completed. I still believe that the world will know my name one day, and I won't stop working toward that goal until I get there and achieve it. So long as I keep the dream alive, my work ethic will only improve, and I can't wait to see where life takes me next.
Again, to everyone who is a part of my life right now... to my friends, family, readers, and to people who I'm sort of friends with but not really best friends with but still in that awkward "we should be friends this is so weird why aren't we friends" type of thing, thank you. Thank you for being supportive, and for being proud of my accomplishments. Thank you for making me laugh, giving me reasons to smile, and for dealing with all of my constant Facebook updates (because you know it's true, I update A LOT). I'm shocked I still have friends on FB with the way I post. Hahahaha. Anyway, if I had a glass in my hand right now, I'd raise it to you, because without such amazing people in my life, I can honestly say that I would probably not be where I am today.
Keep the dream alive, because once it dies, so does your spirit.
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