Today started off more scary than most, and no, it's not because I woke up and realized that I'm single, have no man to romance me, and better get on the ball if I don't want to have a suckish Valentines Day. No, no, no, my body was capable of making today start off worse than it should have started, because I woke up in the basement around five in the morning bathing in my own sweat. Now, when I say bathing, I'm really not exaggerating that much. My clothes were soaked. I was lying there thinking oh my gawd, I'm having a low blood sugar. I was completely drained, and the first thing I thought was to take some glucose tablets. But then I remembered that they were upstairs. So I was going to call my mom, but then I remembered that my phone was out of minutes. I cussed in my mind and thought that I had better get my butt upstairs, so I pushed the blanket off of me.
Let me tell you, it felt like someone had dunked me in a pool of ice water and thrown me out into the snow. I made an effort to sit up, which was extremely difficult to do, and my mind automatically said to me, you're too weak. I had the most horrible urge to lie back down and cover up, but I knew that if I did not get upstairs, I'd be a goner. By goner, in this context, I mean that I'd be dead. I could imagine slipping into a coma and passing away, and my parents finding my lifeless body in the morning. You have to get up those stairs, I told myself. So, using every ounce of strength that I had left, I stood up and, in my mind, quickly walked up the stairs. I was stumbling horribly as I struggled to do this simple task, and I felt like I was going to collapse the entire time that it was happening.
I finally made it up and completely collapsed onto the couch. In desperation, I began yelling, "MOM! DAD!" Even yelling out for help was draining my energy, and I had to concentrate on the volume of my voice in order to yell loud enough. A few seconds passed and I tried again. "MOM! DAD!... MOM! DAD!... SOMEONE, HELP ME!" It was then that I heard, "COMING!", and I was relieved that someone had heard me. But even then, as I was waiting for my parents to come out of their bedroom, I was thinking, Please. Faster. I need you now. Faster. I was completely aware of my body's desperate need for sugar, and my mind kept telling me, If you don't get sugar in you soon, you're going to pass out. Thankfully my parents came out and poured me apple juice, and I drank it quicker than I ever have. I asked my mom for a blanket, so she threw two on me to keep me warm. My sugar has to be in the 30's, I thought. I felt awful enough as it was, and then I decided to chew up three glucose tablets to make sure there was enough fast sugar to bring me back up.
I checked my blood sugar and saw that it was only in the 60's, but it sure didn't feel like it. After that, I asked my mom for peanut butter and chips. Now, you guys may not be aware of this, but low blood sugars cause horrible munchies. So of course, I was thinking about food. I wanted an egg sandwich more than anything, but I knew that it would not be safe to eat one while trying to get out of the low blood sugar. So I fought off the craving and ate my peanut butter and chips. After that, I asked my mom for a third blanket, and then I fell asleep. I remember my mom waking me up fifteen minutes later to check again, and my sugar had risen to 154 if I'm not mistaken. I was still worn out from what had happened and fell asleep again, and it's pretty blurry after that. I slept past my English class (which ended up getting cancelled anyway) and got up to get ready for creative writing.
So, that was my morning. Not the best way to wake up, if you ask me. Guys, I seriously thought I was going to die. I kept thinking that there was no way I was going to make it up the stairs. My body was telling me that it wanted to quit and that it didn't have enough strength to get me up there. But I was given enough energy to brave it. That was the scariest low blood sugar that I have ever had. I showered right when I woke up and I stood in there for a good fifteen minutes just to enjoy the heat of the water against my skin. Heat, I kept thinking, was such a precious thing. And it truly is.
So, never mind that I'm single. Never mind that I haven't found "the one" yet. I'm glad that I have people who love me just as I am, and who care for me enough to help me when I'm at my worst. So many of my friends and family put their precious time aside to be with me, and I think that I'm very fortunate to have that in my life. Without them, I would have nothing to live for. And who knows? If I had nothing to live for, maybe I would have just let myself die this morning. But there's too much going for me now, and too much for me to lose.
I realized today while in the student center that it doesn't take chocolates and flowers to make a person happy. It just takes some pretty amazing people and a webcam to create memories to smile back on, and I'll always be able to remember this day just by looking at these pictures.
So, to all you people out there who hate Valentines Day because you don't have a significant other, just look at all the significant people in your life. What about them? They're the ones who are most important, because without them, you would have no idea what love truly is. Without the ones who support you, care for you, share with you, sacrifice time to spend with you, listen to you, and give you their shoulders for your tears, you are nothing. Stop crying over never finding Mr./Mrs. Right. Focus on what you have now, because tomorrow, it could all be gone.
These are the moments I'll remember for a lifetime; the moments that cost nothing but a smile.
Thank you to everyone who takes time to be a part of my precious life.
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